Sabers at Matadors - GAME of the WEEK! 

Game Prediction - Matadors 34 - Sabers 13

There hasn’t been a bigger let down since the Duckz circa 2021. This week the 8th place Sabers are in for more trouble. That OL that struggled with the Alphas gets an angry set of Matadors. And you mess with this bull, they’ll give ya the horns. Locke on Ben who’s bigger and stronger than last year, your 1st team hopeful center gets Sasa, a literal bear of a human, and your stone foot RT draws the lankiest DE with an excellent 1st step and a great motor. Translation: Y’all screwed. Honestly, there’s 1 thing in this game I’m looking forward to. It’s Justin Garcia, lining up on the DL rushing vs ex-Tribe teammate Hayden Wright. Either Hayden pulls a rabbit out the hat, or we get to see a Garcia Sack dance on his former bestie. The one advantage your offense has is height at WR. Steele/Brig are bigger than Pigott/Cummings. Sower/Leggett will be all over Milo, so that’s prob not fruitful this week. Lab is a hawk, so make him choose and go away from him. This front 7 is not a good matchup for KJ this week. The 6 ypc he put up last week will fade here. On defense you gotta get in Jared’s face. Matador OL is better than your DL, so you better bring heat. It puts your DB’s on islands, but I still think they’re the strength of your team. Alphas don’t throw for 150 on you like they did if you guys could have corralled their QB. Dors QB is much less mobile (-9 yds last week). You’ll give some up cuz the Dors have plenty of playmakers out there, but the biggest difference in your QB’s is that yours doesn’t make mistakes under pressure, theirs will (Hayden 15 picks in 7 years, Jared 2 just last week). You need to capitalize when he servesya freebies.

Keys: 

1. Blitz. A Gap. Get in the Dors Centers head and snaps will flutter. 

2. Seize your opportunities. 

3. Bunn is a weapon in return as long as he hangs onto the ball (2 fumbles in return last week). 0 fumbles, 1 ST TD.

This can go one of 2 ways for the Dors. Either they are committed to getting back on track, or they go full tilt and play recklessly angry. Sometimes they can psych themselves out and get more focused on punishing the guy across from them than just doing their jobs. High energy can be good, but too high of energy causes chaos. Take Schnieder, Piggott, and Leggett into the locker room and Woosah. You guys don’t need to blitz the house every play like last week. Hayden gets it out too quick anyway. Your DL (only 2 Sacks last week) will get home on their own, so make sure there’s nowhere to throw. On offense I know you guys want to throw. But it’s not the right matchup. Their front 7 is so unproven. And Blaze/Garner/Oz are a huge mismatch this week. You ran for 46 yds last week. Should be able to triple that in this one.Plusyour OL gave up 7 sacks last week. And those snaps need a janitor. That’s unacceptable line play.Clean that up, cuz without Jared… well I’ve seen Kadun first hand a lot. In ST, I’d still kick it away from Bunn. And I think it’s time to replace Lab as your return guy. Oz is more elusive and not afraid to catch em.

Keys:

1. Logical football is better than emotional football.Chill, and focus. 

2. I know from my DM’s you guys would like to shed the “Dirty” rep. So don’t throw any punches, and don’t hit guys after the whistle.Simple. 

3. Instead of being who you want to be, be who they allow you to be. Run the damn ball.

Best Match Up – Matador WR’s (125 yds last week) vs Saber DB’s (149 yds given up last week).

Biggest Mismatch – Matador front 7 (3 Sacks last week) vs Saber OL (5 Sacks given up last week).

Bold Prediction – Dors dominate the entire game. Hayden does enough to make it look closer than it actually was with a help of a few Matador hiccups.

Guardians at Aztecs

Game Prediction – Guardians 0 – Aztecs 50

Guardians are a train wreck right now. On the bright side, Wayne called me this week to let me know those 9 guys that quit the night before our game last week have had a change of heart. They just didn’t want to play against BT. So those cowards are apparently back. Wayne told me he had 2 guys that did bother to show up refuse to go in pregame cuz “They’re too big.” The Guardians did pick up a couple defunct Sabers this week. In total, Wayne sent in 6 new agreements last night. So the numbers should be better. But don’t expect much from a few guys that were too scared to play us, to fare any better against the Aztecs. Another piece of trash I picked up this week was that it was the officials idea to run the clock in the 1stquarter, not the Guardians. They also suggested the Guardians not play the second half to which Wayne told him the Guardians have been around for 15 years. We’ve never quit. We won’t quit today.

Keys: 

1. Ask yourself “Why am I playing football?” There’s no wrong answer. But you need to figure that out. 

2. Create an identity. What offense do you even run? What style defense do you run? Who are you as a team? Figure that out. 

3. If you’re going to step on the field, give 100% effort. Standing and watching is embarrassing and an insult to football. Spectators don’t belong on the field. If you’regonna watch, pay your $7 and go sit in the stands.

Aztecs, first of all, Congrats. Now, this is a practice game. Honestly, easier than practice. You can either use it to build up stats and have fun. (I know Colt well enough to know he wants to break the single game pass TD record). Or you can work on shit for the Sabers in Week 3 and get better. It’s 1 step above going against air, so get timing down and let guys struggling with the playbook get plenty of reps in. If anyone is banged up at all from last week, just rest. You’ll need em’ next week. So, I guess the important question… What do you guys like from the food truck? What’s the best drink at Alex Wilsons stand?

Keys: 

1. Get healthy. Stay healthy. 

2. Build team chemistry. Fly around, have fun, and get the little nuances down. 

3. Keep the momentum rolling. It’s easy to stop trying when the snowball gets easy to push. But use Week 1 to propel you into Week 3.

Best Match Up – Aztec offense vs Aztec defense. Who will score more points? Our offense barely edged out or defense last week.

Biggest Mismatch – Aztecs vs Guardians. Nuff said.

Bold Prediction – Guardians improve to make it all the way through a whole quarter without a running clock. At half they ask for it, and Aztecs new coach Ed Danti holds up 1 finger, and it ain’t his index. 3rd Quarter Guardians ask to eliminate special teams. Joe has a change of heart, remembers 2020 vs BT, gives Wayne a hug, and agrees. 4th quarter, Aztecs coach Christy Pickering has overthrown Joe, kicked him off the sideline, and he can be found at the food truck murmuring under his breath about integrity.

Diamondbacks at Warhawks

Game Prediction – Diamondbacks 18 – Warhawks  24

Diamondbacks, welcome. I don’t know quite what to think about you guys. I keep reminding you that you lost like your 4 best players. And you guys keep DM’ing me your better than last year and going to surprise the league again. I’m betting on a thick case of Delusion out in Wendell. Last year you guys held your own against mid’s but couldn’t quite conquer any top teams. I think the Warhawks are the definition of Mid. Maybe just below mid. This week will tell us exactly who you are. You got your QB back, you got your entire WR Corp back. Warhawks are better against the run than the pass (WH gave up 151 in the air, and just 25 on the ground last week), so I say sling it. Hell, one of their starting corners is 16 years old. If you can’t air raid on the white flags, then you can’t do it on anyone (Guardians not withstanding). N defense it really depends on who plays QB. #12 (the starter) is athletic, #6 is a game manager (33% comp). #11 the RB is their guy. His touches are always near the top of the league, and this year is no different. He has 27 touches (double the next highest). Top passing targets are #4 & #5. Warhawks gave up a ST TD last week, and I think you guys can get one too. I’ll tell you this, The Warhawks are already over looking you, telling me they can’t wait to play us in Week 3. That should piss you the hell off. But you better travel full force.

Keys: 

1. Keep Warhawk QB Josh Lopez in the pocket. He want’s to run, make him sit and throw. 

2. Take away #11 Jordan Parham. He is their entire offense right now. 

3. On offense, avoid #34 Garrison Roach. He’s their best player. (6 tkl, 1 INT, 1 FR, Punt Blk, 1 Def TD).

Speaking of delusion. Now that the Sabers have finally eaten their pride. There’s a new cockiest team on the block. Which is completely unfounded for an organization that has never won a game in more than 2 seasons and just lost to the Savage. 2 Warhawk DL just left the Hawks to join the Savage this week. 1 Warhawk WR has been messaging me complaining he didn’t get Offensive PotW (88 total yards in a loss). He swears to me he’s going to lead the league in receiving and put up 100 yards both this weekend, and next week against BT (LOL). Their 16 yr old CB claims to have the tightest coverage in the league. But a lot of kids think they’ll be super hero’s when they grow up. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the bulletin board material, but the 0-17 Warhawks better hope to get through this one on top or they’ll be eliminated before the halfway point. This week you need to key on ICFL Athlete of the Year #3 Jerico Lewis. He’s a burner and he goes both ways (like your DC does). #88 is the DBax deep threat. QB #15 is a Gun slinger. He’s a gamer and is a high risk/high reward type QB that’ll take some chances and isn’t afraid to use his legs.

Keys: 

1. Get Lopez healthy. I’m torn here because you prob need him to win this week, but you need him even more in Week 3. 

2. Find a back up plan to Parham. 27 touches is a lot of miles to put on a guy week to week, year after year. If he were to go down, who can you rely on? 

3. Put together a complete game. The game isn’t over when you’re up 18-6. There’s 4 full quarters (unless you’re playing the Guardians).

Best Match Up – Warhawk DB’s vs Diamondback WR’s

Biggest Mismatch – Warhawks Run Game vs DBack Front 7.

Bold Prediction – It really depends on who plays. I think Lopez goes. I think he comes back, has a great 1sthalf, and shuts it down again realizing maybe his knee wasn’t quite ready. I also don’t know who’s going to play DL for the Kamikazes with Clausen and Arredondo bouncing. Which is weird because I’m told the whole reason Arredondo left is cuz he was getting into it with Clausen, who is now gone too. And Clausen is gone is for fighting… against the Savage. So now he’s on a new team for the 3rd time this year… The Savage. With Arredondo. Feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. (Like Eric McCallister leaving BSU cuz he didn’t like Avalos, so he goes to TCU, who just hired Avalos. TF?).

Savage at Alphas

Game Prediction – Savage 12 – Alphas 35

#1 in the 4R (Regional Rudimental Regis Rankings), Savage this game depends entirely on how well you travel. As mentioned, you have 2 new DL this week. But your BSU LB is suspended this week for getting ejected last week. And you REALLY could have used him for Bowers. Obviously Koby will be there. He’d go if your game was in Virginia. But is Clay going? Because I don’t think you have a shot without him. You need him, and especially the threat of him. He only put up 47 offensive yards last week, but just the threat of him opened everything else up. Plus the ST factor. Hopefully you solved your case of the butterfingers cuz you need Park/Armendariz/Byrnes/Williams to catch the damn ball. On defense you have 2 jobs. Keep the QB in the pocket. You don’t even have to sack him, just don’t let him outta the bottle. Follow #27 everywhere he goes. I’d probably even put a spy on him. You have to gang tackle him because his balance is off the charts. And when you think he’s down, he’s not. His best weapon is everyone thinking the play is over, then he burst out the pile for 60 up the sideline. Play to the whistle. And it’s eastern Idaho. Weather will be shit. Plan accordingly. Wind, Rain, Volcano, all of it.

Keys: 

1. Get Orlando Clay into space. Get cute. Screens, counters, Texas routes, whatever. You don’t have the OL for straight up dives. 

2. Less than 3 total drops. Look the ball all the way in. Call spaces/Laces or whatever you have to do. But drops will lose you this game. 

3. Slow down #27. Classic case of “You can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him.” Don’t let him beat you, or he will single handedly.

Alphas, I love your whole mantra. You guys always just worry about you, and do what you do. And I think it’s more of the same. Like, maybe don’t kick the ball to #20, but I told you that about Bunn and you proved me wrong. I think you guys just focus on you again, and do what you gotta do to get better. You know you can run the ball (Bowers for 125 & Eldredge for 74 last week). But what do you do against teams that can contain? Top teams will be better in coverage, so if you want them to respect it, you gotta show you have more than just BowWow. I was actually impressed by your DB’s. Oh, and you gotta clean up the penalties. Despite them saying they handed you the game last week, truth is, if you guys didn’t have so many, it wouldn’t have even been as close as it was. So do your thing, improve, and get ready for a playoff run, because only 4 teams make it, and right now your chances look good for a 4 seed.

Keys: 

1. No penalties. 

2. Stand in pocket and dish dimes to Thompson/Garcia/Woolsey (combined for 89 last week). 

3. Don’t kick to #20. I know, I know. But I don’t think he’s a fumbler. Why bother with the risk?

Best Match Up – Alpha DB/s vs Savage WR’s

Biggest Mismatch – Alpha DL vs Savage OL

Bold Prediction – Initial reaction/gut says Alphas easy. But I actually think this is kind of a decent matchup, depending who travels for the Savage. Being in Eastern Idaho, plus weather does give Alphas a substantial leg up. Yes, I know both teams have to play in the same weather, but Alphas can just run the ball if they need to. My bold prediction is that the Alphas figure out film this week. Tell your film girl to get off her phone and pay attention to the game. Sitting higher up would be better too. Also, pro tip, if it starts raining, put an umbrella over the camera.